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Evian Roller Babies US

Baby Break Dance

Firefox 3.5

init_utw()

Why Parents Drink

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent but had not phoned in sick one day. Needing to have an urgent problem with one of the main computers resolved, he dialled the employee’s home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whisper. ‘ Hello ? ‘

‘Is your daddy home?’ he asked.

‘ Yes ,’ whispered the small voice.

‘May I talk with him?’

The child whispered, ‘ No .’

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, ‘Is your Mummy there?’

‘ Yes ‘

‘May I talk with her?’

Again the small voice whispered, ‘ No ‘

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, ‘Is anybody else there?’

‘ Yes , ‘ whispered the child, ‘ a policeman . ‘

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home, the boss asked, ‘May I speak with the policeman?’

‘ No, he’s busy , ‘ whispered the child.

‘Busy doing what?’

‘ Talking to Daddy and Mummy and the Fireman , ‘ came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, ‘What is that noise?’

‘ A helicopter ‘ answered the whispering voice.

‘What is going on there?’ demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive. Again, whispering, the child answered,

‘ The search team just landed a helicopter ‘

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, ‘What are they searching for?’

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle…

‘ ME . ‘

Waking Up is Hard to Do

• 2:00 AM: Set alarm for 10 am (physical switch)
• 2:03 AM: Tape piece of paper over alarm with the text “Why are you ruining my life?”
• 2:07 AM: Go to bed
• 2:15 AM: Fall asleep
• ??? AM: Alarm is switched off, and the piece of paper is re-taped over the alarm by a mysterious force. Abducted by aliens? Gremlins? Cruel alter ego?
• 12:17 PM: Wake up with no memory of the alarm being disabled. Paper is still taped over the alarm like the alarm was never turned off (?!?)
• 12:18 PM: Perform thorough exam for signs of alien abduction: scars, incisions, chips in the back of my neck, probes in various orifices. Results, negative
• 12:19 PM: Inspect apartment security fixtures. Deadbolt: in place. Physical chain slider thing: in place. Pole blocking sliding glass door: in place. Grill over fan vent in bathroom: in place. Gremlin trap: empty

Conclusion: I have a cruel alter ego who wakes up when the alarm goes off, disables it for who knows what reason, laughs mischievously, and then goes back to bed.

Solution: Tie myself up before going to bed.

Problem: How do I get out of bed when I’m back to my calm, mild mannered, normal self?

stolen from here: http://www.gnome.org/~seth/

Lincoln College – Battle of the Bands 2009 (Part 1/5)

Ubuntu 9.04 Countdown

Message to 2009 Vic Bushfire Support Facebook Cause

Technologically crippled… and it’s my fault!!

From: sales@internode.on.net
To: sladek@internode.on.net
Subject: Warning: Account ’sladek@internode.on.net’ is over 100% of download quota
Date: Fri, 30 Jan 2009 08:50:32 UT (19:20 CST)

Dear Internode customer,

This is an automated message – generated at 30/01/2009 18:54:23 We have sent this message in order to assist you to manage your account usage.

Your current downloads for the account sladek@internode.on.net have exceeded 100% of your download allowance this month.

At the time this message was generated, you had downloaded 40097 Mb. Your monthly download allowance is currently 40000 Mb.

No excess usage fees are incurred on this plan; however your download rate has been reduced until your next rollover date (9/2/2009 )

Please note that Internode’s shaping scheme has changed.

You do not need to take any action, however we will apply ’shaping’ which will reduce the speed of your service until your next rollover date. After 3,000 Mbytes of shaped traffic, additional access constraints may be applied.

You have the option of :

* reducing your downloads (eg by disabling peer to peer file sharing or other high download services); or
* purchasing additional data blocks for an instant quota upgrade; or
* upgrading to a plan with a higher monthly quota (though this only takes effect at your next rollover date).

Please read this page for further information : www.internode.on.net/datablocks

You can purchase additional data blocks, or schedule an upgrade to a higher quota plan, by visiting our My Internode at:
https://secure.internode.on.net/myinternode/ and selecting ‘Change ADSL Plan

Tools for monitoring your Internet usage are available at http://www.internode.on.net/support/tools/usage_meters/

If you have any further questions, you can log an online support request at https://secure.internode.on.net/webtools/support or call us on 13 NODE (13 6633) during office hours.

Thank you for using Internode!

Yes I use the Usage meters. Yes I knew I was cutting it fine. Yes I had stopped downloading movies the last couple of weeks. Yes I hate being stuck at 64KB/sec as opposed to 1500KB/sec. Yes 9/2/2009 will be a LONG time coming. Yes I am impatient. Yes I want my Internet back to high speed. No I will not hibernate for the time remaining. No I do not like that I can now watch my Facebook homepage “loading” rather than just “POPPING” open. No I don’t remember how I used to live with dial up speeds. No I probably haven’t learnt my lesson and will continue to push my internet’s limit. Yes I will contact Internode and check to see if there is a more suitable plan for my… Ummm… “needs”.