August 26, 2008

From my neck to my tail bone my whole spine is sending out pain. Not the dull in the background & easily ignored pain it used to be but lately it is the pain that says “here I am, listen to me, listen to me,….”

I have no energy. It takes 2 hours of a morning for me to get out of bed. I feel like I have a hangover with the aching all over but this has lasted for at least a week at this level.

The pain messes with my head as well. I can’t concentrate, I make mistakes and they are occurring more often. Driving can be a struggle. All that I need to think about to function daily has to push it’s way to the front of my head as the pain has prime position. It’s like noise inside my head and the clear sounds of thoughts I need have to wade through the fog to perform their duties. The fog is thick at the moment.

A person could go insane dealing with this. Some think I am insane or on drugs. I fight this every day to exist in the real world. I fight every day to remain me. The pain could take over and I would become a complaining, frustrated, angry person constantly looking for pity. I am so frustrated now I nearly cried in front of my sister this afternoon when I talked to her about the pain I am in. My head is in a place where I don’t want to be. I don’t want pity. I want to be fixed…. now!

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