In Honor of Stupid People

October 2, 2008

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity:

here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On Woolworth’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom)

Do not turn upside down.

(well…duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Pick n’ Pay’s peanuts

Warning: contains nuts

(talk about a news flash)

On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine

Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

On a Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding

Product will be hot after heating.

(…and you thought????…)

On a Clicks hair dryer

Do not use while sleeping.

(That’s the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Simba Chips

You could be a winner! No purchase necessary!
Details inside.

(the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dove soap

Directions: Use like regular soap.

(and that would be???….)

On some Checkers frozen dinners

Serving suggestion: Defrost.

(please note that it’s just a suggestion.)

On the packaging of a Rowenta iron

Don’t iron clothes on body.

(but wouldn’t this save me time?)

On Nytol Sleep Aid

Warning: May cause drowsiness.

(..I’m taking this because???….)

On some brands of Christmas lights of Eastern origin

For indoor or outdoor use only.

(As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor

Not to be used for the other use.

(Now, somebody out there, please help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)

Instructions on a SA Airways packet of peanuts

  1. Open packet;
  2. Eat nuts.

(Step 3: say what?)

On a child’s Superman costume

Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

(Don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a German chainsaw

Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.

(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

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